Survival Kit for Parents

of Gifted Children

Adapted from the article, A survival kit for parents of gifted children by Nancy Johnson.

Paper Sack

This is a very special paper sack.  It’s used to throw away bad behavior.  We adults quite often expect gifted children to behave better than other children.  We should not expect adult behavior from a child even though at times the child may talk or think like an adult.  Sometimes we remind the child of past misbehavior and “hold it over his/her head.”  At the same time, we remind the child that he/she is gifted.  Example: “Mary, that’s the fourth time you’ve done that.  Now stop it!  I’ve told you four times to stop that.  You’re supposed to be gifted!  You should know better!”  After a time, Mary might begin to relate bad behavior with being gifted. 

As a parent, learn to discipline your child, deal with the problem, then throw it away.  Being reminded of past mistakes can be just as embarrassing and painful to children as to adults.

Playing Card

Card games can serve many useful purposes for your and your gifted child.

1.      Playing card games will stretch a child’s attention span, concentration skills, short-term memory, and math ability.

2.      Conversation is sometimes easier over a game of cards.  Besides stretching logical thinking skills, the cards can serve as a communication tool.  Words and feelings seem to flow more freely when two people are playing cards. Family activities are important learning experiences for gifted children.  However, it is just as important for your gifted child to be involved in “one-on-one” activities with each parent.

3.      Remember, conversation means listening as well as talking.  Listen!  There are times when your gifted child needs your undivided attention to his/her perceptions, questions, and concerns.

Birthday Candle

The birthday candle symbolizes surprises.  Unfortunately, gifted children can suffer from depression just like other children.  In fact, many gifted children are worriers.  The problem is, they worry about the “big stuff”: world peace, starvation in Africa, etc.  At times, it all gets to be too much and they really get “down in the dumps.”  One way to shake children loose from some of those feelings is to try and get them to talk about it.  Verbalizing all those worries can really help.  Another way to boost your child’s spirits is to surprise him/her.  The euphoria from a quick surprise lunch or surprise mail can last for days!  Surprises can take many forms: trips, gifts, telephone calls, rearranged furniture, etc.  They are like magic!

Refrigerator Sign

Place an index card on the refrigerator with the following words printed on it: LOVING, LAUGHING, and LEARNING.

Loving: Sometimes we need to be reminded of the obvious.  Your gifted child is a child first and gifted second.  Have you talked with your child about the term “gifted” and what it means?  Have you told your child it’s okay to be gifted?  Have you explained that being gifted doesn’t mean you are “better” than other people, just different?  Have you said I LOVE YOU?

Laughing: Whatever happens, don’t lose your sense of humor!  Don’t take your gifted child too seriously.  There are times when your gifted child will do things that might seem a bit out of character  Just because your child has a gifted mind doesn’t mean he/she has gifted behavior, gifted mouth, gifted body, or gifted handwriting!

Learning: Some parents believe that home is where you live and school is where you learn.  Your home is also a learning environment.  As models, parents and other family members are constantly teaching the gifted child.  Educating gifted children is a team effort involving teachers and parents in the learning process.  Look out!  Someone’s watching!  Someone’s LEARNING!

Rubber Band

Your gifted child is like a rubber band.  Rubber bands can be stretched in different directions.  It doesn’t hurt them – that’s what they are for!  As a parent, try to stretch your gifted child in different directions.

1.      Encourage the child to spend time with other gifted people.  Remember, your child has two sets of peers: age peers and intellectual peers.  There should be time for interaction with both.

2.      Go! Go! Go! to the museum, public library, concerts, sporting events, grandma’s house, circus, zoo, campground, lectures, movies, etc.  Your gifted child needs a variety of experiences.

3.      Encourage your child to participate in activities that might stretch talent development: music lessons, tumbling class, community theater, clubs and organizations, etc.

4.      Provide stretching materials and equipment in the home: art supplies, building materials, musical instruments, electronic equipment, resource books, complex games (Chess, Mastermind, Othello), chemistry set, special interest magazines, etc.  Be sure to include materials that develop imagination and imagery, such as fairy tales, open-ended stories, folktales, myths, fables, or nature books.

5.      Support your gifted child when he/she succeeds as well as when he/she fails.  Stretching is a risky business!  Create an atmosphere where risk taking is OK!

6.      Permit time for thinking and daydreaming.  Just because children might not look like they are busy doesn’t mean that their minds are not.

Kite String

Sometimes it’s hard to let go of a kite, allowing it to go higher and higher, watching it float farther and farther away.  But that’s what kites are supposed to do.  Sometimes it’s hard to watch your gifted child being “lifted,” stretching and taking risks with his/her life.  It’s important that gifted children possess a certain amount of intellectual, emotional, and physical mobility.  Some gifted adults are notorious for changing professions several times in their lifetimes.  Just as a kite moves in several directions, the gifted child must also be prepared to change positions and interests.  It all adds up to something that educators call flexibility.  What happens when a kite goes too high or drifts near a dangerous power line?  We pull back on the string.  As a parent, don’t be afraid to pull back once in a while.  Don’t be intimidated by your gifted child.  He/She needs discipline and guidance just like other children.  Gifted kids and kites are meant to be lifted, but don’t let go of the string!

Television Sign

How much TV does your child watch?  Most children watch in excess of forty hours a week.  Is the TV the most important piece of furniture in your living room?  How many TV’s does your family own?

The National Parent/Teacher Association has recommended that each television have a card sitting on top with the following words printed on it: WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, and WHY.  They suggested that, as children were watching, adults should ask questions using one or more of these words.  It forces the child to verbalize what he/she is watching and breaks the hypnotic effect that TV has on the child’s learning process.  Some of the child’s answers may surprise you!

Broken Pencil

The pencil is a symbol for academic learning activities, the kind most children experience in school.  Yes, the pencil is broken.  Quite often parents expect more paper/pencil homework when they find out their child is gifted.  “Shouldn’t this child be doing more worksheets if he/she is gifted?” is a frequent question from parents and teachers.  Gifted children do not need more of the same old thing – they need different!

There are so many other things parents can do at home other than paper/pencil activities.  That is why the pencil is broken.  Put clay in your child’s hands or a violin, or checkers, or a puppy, or your own hands!  Think about all the learning experiences that can’t take place in the regular classroom.  Those are the experiences parents should try to provide at home.

In Conclusion

Hopefully this survival kit has been useful for you.  Keep it in a place that is easily accessible to you in times of need.  Of course, if you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact one of the gifted intervention specialists in the district.

Ms. Karen McCann, mccann_k@nrschools.org

553-3181 ext. 15508; 553-3183 ext. 14192

Mrs. Vicky Phillips, phillips_v@nrschools.org

752-1432 ext. 13217

GATES Website: Go to www.nrschools.org and follow the “Gifted Webpage” link.